ATM
How a man withdraws cash from ATM.

1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take Money
6) Drive away

How a woman withdraws cash from ATM

1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for 1/2 mile
24) Release hand brake
25) Drive on.
  
 Japanese Perfection
They're still laughing about this at IBM.
Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10,000 .
When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter.
" We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices . But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you . "
 
 Password

Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks!!!
 
 Wireless
After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the London newspapers read: "English scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Scots."

One week later, the Irish press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Irish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."
 
 Why did the chicken cross the road??
The famous question... "Why did the chicken cross the road ?"
when put before a few Indians .......... this is what they had to say.....

"Why did the chicken cross the road ?"

Azhar: "I am totally innocent, you know, I am unnecessarily being dragged into this, you know..... I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know...."

Devegowda: "zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....mmmm...mm... chicken ??? Thanks, I'll have it later !!.........mm.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Laloo: "The fact, that the chicken crossed the road, means that, there is one chicken missing from my poultry !!!"

George Fernandes: "I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car leave alone a chicken !!!"

Mulayam: "I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their motives being questioned"

Congress: "That the chicken crossed the road clearly demonstrates the fact > > > that the people and chicken have lost confidence in the Government. The Government should own moral responsibility and resign !!!"

BJP: "We are very sure of the fact that the chicken DID NOT cross the road. Its a conspiracy by the congress to bring the Government down. The poor chicken has been made a scapegoat in > > > this whole issue"

Jyoti Basu: "Chicken ??!! Don't you dare call me a chicken ??? I just resigned because of health reasons..."

Harkishen Singh Surjeet: "We are adopting a wait and watch policy. We have convened a meeting of the third front today. We will decide the future course of action after the chicken comes back.."